Free yourself...face your fears.

Imagine that in facing our fears, and not running from them, we get to truly experience why we are here…to grow, to learn, to embody our full radiance, which cannot be known completely until we drop our fears by facing them.

Yesterday I was thinking about love and how there is often so much fear around love.
Will I be loved?
Will I be rejected?
Will he/she leave me?

And on and on fears show up around love (and of course other areas too) and for me the question arises,
Can we truly love with all of that fear?
Isn’t fear the antithesis of love?
It’s like saying it can be dark and light at the same time. As far as I know the only place I have ever experienced this is inside of myself, and that is where this mixture of fear and love tries to co-exist.

And in the end many of those fears may never be totally put to rest because they are in effect possible…
Our beloved may leave,
they may die,
or we might.

Sometimes our own growth propels us forward and that might include changing what our life looks like. Don’t you also want the same for those you love? even if it is just what they think is best for them, but we cannot hold them back from where their lives flow

So why not totally embrace the experience of love and just observe those fears when they arise (and whatever other emotions come), since ultimately they serve no purpose except to keep you from who you are and from truly experiencing all of the love and beauty that is around us. Let the thoughts, the fears arise and just see what happens when you don’t run from them.

When we allow the fear to literally enter and pierce our body, and we feel all of the pain that comes, we find out that it will eventually leave our bodies, and then our minds.
But when we let fear dwell in our minds, take over our thoughts and actions, and allow it to linger and lurk-not fully accepting it, it usually doesn’t leave, but rather settles in deeper. We also can begin to fall victim to our fears that may never even come to pass–and then we miss what is right in front of us.

Now I am not saying that this easy, but it also isn’t easy walking around carrying those fears for years, decades or lifetimes. If we can face that worse case scenario in our minds and bodies and survive it, and we do survive it, then we tap into a part of ourselves that we may have forgotten was even there. We find that inner strength that is really love, and who we truly are. The more times that we can go through this process the more we come to know ourselves and to see that our worst fears may never come to pass, and if they do there is probably a good reason for it in the long run. As we allow ourselves this experience we also seem to move through the painful times more rapidly and grow stronger.

Lately I am experiencing a sense of some sort of divine master plan in my life.  I can step back and view my life as a big picture, or movie, as more pieces of the picture are slowly but surely being painted in. With some distance, and grace, I can see that everything in my life has been for my betterment and development although it might have hurt like crazy going through it, I am who I am today as a result of all of those experiences. This has also facilitated my being to honor all that I have gone through.

Today as things happen… from disappointments to joy, I try to embrace it all. There is even a sweetness now to the suffering when it comes for I know that to feel this I was truly engaged in my life and feeling it all. And isn’t that what life is really all about? Living it fully.

I have faced many fears in the last years, actually the last decades, and I know deep in my bones (and even deeper than that) that I am never given more than I can handle and it is my choice to say yes or no to whatever experience I am presented with. Not to worry if I say no, the opportunity will return as surely as the sun will set and then rise in the morning and I will get another chance if this experience is part of my destiny..
So most of the time I am saying yes, and experiencing  so much while feeling the bliss of living a truly authentic life with all that it brings.

There is a song By Edwin McCain called I Want It All
and one of the lines is
The good, the bad, the happy and the sad
… I want it all.

Life can be a wonderful, fulfilling adventure lived from a place of embodied love and power when we are willing to face it all….

I just had a friend send me this beautiful piece from Rumi. I found it quite appropriate here.

The Guest House
This being human is a guest house. Every day is a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an
unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house empty
of its furniture, still, treat each guest honorably. He or she may be
cleaning you out for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door,
laughing, and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.
Rumi

In order to truly blossom we must be willing to open...to life.

Yesterday I was telling someone a story from my past that had to do with a humbling, and at the time a slightly humiliating experience. We began talking about the word humiliation and then humility…surely there is a relationship between the two.

For the sake of clarity I am not talking about humiliation in the broader sense of the word such as when a group or individual is subject to humiliating treatment that sets them apart with the intention to belittle them or possibly worse…this is not the experience that I refer to. But rather humiliation in the narrower sense of the word, maybe we could call it extreme embarrassment that causes us to feel humiliated. Often when we can go through that experience, survive it, and have our friends or family still love us, we realize that we can gain something from it.

Isn’t it interesting how we are averse to feeling humiliated but somehow humility is good? Maybe there isn’t that much of a difference…don’t we gain humility allowing ourselves to feel a bit humiliated on occasion. They can be two sides of one coin.

Could this be something that we are missing in our world today? a bit more humility. Many of us are too afraid to risk feeling humiliated so then we play it safe…Perhaps a little bit too safe to really experience life in its fullest and juiciest.

How powerful is that fear if it can hold us back from trying to live our dreams. Why do we not pursue that which puts a smile on our face and in our hearts. How many unfulfilled, and untried dreams are out there?

My experience is that at some point the fear of not living my life as I dreamt it could be was far more scary than going for it.

At this point I must confess that this is not where I planned to go with this writing but I like this exploration so my original idea will just have to wait.

I see that humility is a process that de-emphasizes the ego, that chips  away at it, which allows us to discover that we are something far beyond the ego. Usually in this process we gain something…some insight, some awareness to fill that space previously occupied by the ego in our inner world.

When we gain the knowledge, and acceptance of who we truly are, we recognize our value…We are empowered yet at the same time humbled. If we can give ourselves permission to experience that self humiliation and still remain aware of our being-ness and our worth we can also experience that sense of humility, which I know as very peaceful and centering. I am amazed again and again what power emanates from that place of being-ness.

Once we connect to ourselves this way we gain such a sense of freedom that we are willing to dare being humbled, even if that means risking the potential for a taste of humiliation. We realize that in effect everything in life is an opportunity for us to grow and live more aware and awakened lives…usually our greatest fears never come close to manifesting.

I don’t know about you but I am willing to take that risk, to make that leap to live a truly authentic life. The ego may get a bit nervous, but in effect as more fun, joy and contentment comes into my life there is an aspect of my ego that likes it too and then surrender just comes.

So maybe you are willing to step out a little from your comfort zone to experience more of who you really are. In the big picture of life when we are willing to dare, it is evidence that we are trusting something bigger than our fear and that is always empowering. Who would have thought that we can go from humiliation to humility and then to empowerment…

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

Anais Nin

It's time for us all to blossom.

I have been really involved creating SmartLifeways, a web site dedicated to informing and inspiring people to live in a more sustainable way. I will be offering sessions in “greening” your life – from your kitchen, office and all around your home – for those of you who maybe don’t even know where to begin or are ready to take the next step.

I came across this beautiful writing from Rudolf Steiner whose work has brought us Walden School, Anthroposophical Medicine and Biodynamic farming-he was a busy man. This was written in 1910 and I find it extremely relevant for today.

Hope you like it …..

“We must eradicate from the soul all fear and terror of what comes toward us out of the future.

We must acquire serenity in all feelings and sensation about the future.

We must look forward with absolute equanimity to everything that may come.

And we must think only that whatever comes is given to us by a world-directive full of wisdom.

It is part of what we must learn in this age, namely, to live out of pure trust, without any security in existence.

Trust in the ever-present help of the Spiritual World.

Truly, nothing else will do if our courage is not to fail us.

And let us seek the awakening from within ourselves, every morning and evening.”

(~ R. Steiner)

In no way has this been an easy transition but there was always a willingness to go through what was necessary for clarity, insight and moving forward out of old patterns that no longer served me. I had people tell me that I was courageous and I didn’t really feel this was accurate since I felt as if I had no choice. But maybe that is where courage comes from…when you see that there is only one direction and you will do whatever is necessary to make your way on that path, that is how I have felt.

While this has probably been the most painful two years of my life, it has also been the most rewarding as well. It sounds so cliche but it is the truth.

Whatever you may be going through persevere and don’t ever give up on yourself or your tomorrow.
Look for guidance and a hand to hold, but if neither shows up look to your power that lies within.
If you have no one to share your secrets and fears, write them down and share them with the universe.
When a hurricane of emotions arise let them rain down with fury, and remember… this too shall pass.
All that we feel are divine gifts and when we can let them move through us we realize this.

We are here to grow and become more of who we are. Just as a blade of grass can make its way through the concrete our spirit can hold us and guide us through anything. Find inspiration and just keep on going, there really is a light at the end of the tunnel-and that light is YOU.
Love and blessings

“May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are.”

I am not aware of who wrote this originally (if you know please send the author’s name) but it is a beautiful daily thought, or prayer… however you like to define it. When we can remember to remember that each phase of our life can offer us incredible gifts leading us to unthought of possibilities we can allow the unfolding of our lives with a bit more ease.

Not that each day will necessarily be “easy” but neither is a hike up a steep mountain, but the gift we receive when standing at the peak always makes it worth the effort. We get to experience many peaks in our lives when we have the stamina, courage and faith to continue up our personal mountains…..Perhaps one of the most important items to help us keep going is self acceptance.

May you be content with yourself just the way you are, right now in this moment. If you want to change something in your life, that is fine but love yourself and accept yourself right now, and then visualize where you are going with an open heart for you.

I love that this quote is circulating amongst emails, at least to women, how wonderful it is when this amazing vehicle called the internet can be used for inspiration and as a great connection between people who may not have otherwise ever “met”. Try to look at all that is around you in a positive light, see the good and share your beauty. The world will continue to become more beautiful as more of us follow this route.

I am grateful to be sharing this path with you….

Sending love,

Michelle