Free yourself...face your fears.

Imagine that in facing our fears, and not running from them, we get to truly experience why we are here…to grow, to learn, to embody our full radiance, which cannot be known completely until we drop our fears by facing them.

Yesterday I was thinking about love and how there is often so much fear around love.
Will I be loved?
Will I be rejected?
Will he/she leave me?

And on and on fears show up around love (and of course other areas too) and for me the question arises,
Can we truly love with all of that fear?
Isn’t fear the antithesis of love?
It’s like saying it can be dark and light at the same time. As far as I know the only place I have ever experienced this is inside of myself, and that is where this mixture of fear and love tries to co-exist.

And in the end many of those fears may never be totally put to rest because they are in effect possible…
Our beloved may leave,
they may die,
or we might.

Sometimes our own growth propels us forward and that might include changing what our life looks like. Don’t you also want the same for those you love? even if it is just what they think is best for them, but we cannot hold them back from where their lives flow

So why not totally embrace the experience of love and just observe those fears when they arise (and whatever other emotions come), since ultimately they serve no purpose except to keep you from who you are and from truly experiencing all of the love and beauty that is around us. Let the thoughts, the fears arise and just see what happens when you don’t run from them.

When we allow the fear to literally enter and pierce our body, and we feel all of the pain that comes, we find out that it will eventually leave our bodies, and then our minds.
But when we let fear dwell in our minds, take over our thoughts and actions, and allow it to linger and lurk-not fully accepting it, it usually doesn’t leave, but rather settles in deeper. We also can begin to fall victim to our fears that may never even come to pass–and then we miss what is right in front of us.

Now I am not saying that this easy, but it also isn’t easy walking around carrying those fears for years, decades or lifetimes. If we can face that worse case scenario in our minds and bodies and survive it, and we do survive it, then we tap into a part of ourselves that we may have forgotten was even there. We find that inner strength that is really love, and who we truly are. The more times that we can go through this process the more we come to know ourselves and to see that our worst fears may never come to pass, and if they do there is probably a good reason for it in the long run. As we allow ourselves this experience we also seem to move through the painful times more rapidly and grow stronger.

Lately I am experiencing a sense of some sort of divine master plan in my life.  I can step back and view my life as a big picture, or movie, as more pieces of the picture are slowly but surely being painted in. With some distance, and grace, I can see that everything in my life has been for my betterment and development although it might have hurt like crazy going through it, I am who I am today as a result of all of those experiences. This has also facilitated my being to honor all that I have gone through.

Today as things happen… from disappointments to joy, I try to embrace it all. There is even a sweetness now to the suffering when it comes for I know that to feel this I was truly engaged in my life and feeling it all. And isn’t that what life is really all about? Living it fully.

I have faced many fears in the last years, actually the last decades, and I know deep in my bones (and even deeper than that) that I am never given more than I can handle and it is my choice to say yes or no to whatever experience I am presented with. Not to worry if I say no, the opportunity will return as surely as the sun will set and then rise in the morning and I will get another chance if this experience is part of my destiny..
So most of the time I am saying yes, and experiencing  so much while feeling the bliss of living a truly authentic life with all that it brings.

There is a song By Edwin McCain called I Want It All
and one of the lines is
The good, the bad, the happy and the sad
… I want it all.

Life can be a wonderful, fulfilling adventure lived from a place of embodied love and power when we are willing to face it all….

I just had a friend send me this beautiful piece from Rumi. I found it quite appropriate here.

The Guest House
This being human is a guest house. Every day is a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an
unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house empty
of its furniture, still, treat each guest honorably. He or she may be
cleaning you out for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door,
laughing, and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.
Rumi

In no way has this been an easy transition but there was always a willingness to go through what was necessary for clarity, insight and moving forward out of old patterns that no longer served me. I had people tell me that I was courageous and I didn’t really feel this was accurate since I felt as if I had no choice. But maybe that is where courage comes from…when you see that there is only one direction and you will do whatever is necessary to make your way on that path, that is how I have felt.

While this has probably been the most painful two years of my life, it has also been the most rewarding as well. It sounds so cliche but it is the truth.

Whatever you may be going through persevere and don’t ever give up on yourself or your tomorrow.
Look for guidance and a hand to hold, but if neither shows up look to your power that lies within.
If you have no one to share your secrets and fears, write them down and share them with the universe.
When a hurricane of emotions arise let them rain down with fury, and remember… this too shall pass.
All that we feel are divine gifts and when we can let them move through us we realize this.

We are here to grow and become more of who we are. Just as a blade of grass can make its way through the concrete our spirit can hold us and guide us through anything. Find inspiration and just keep on going, there really is a light at the end of the tunnel-and that light is YOU.
Love and blessings

Sometimes we need to be willing to sit for a period of time with what may be uncomfortable feelings in order to understand our lessons in life, so that we can then receive the gifts that follow…

When going through a challenging time have you noticed how difficult it often is to just sit with your feelings, to allow them to come to full bloom or maybe even eruption? There is a magic in the exploration of what is really being shown to us, since quite often it is something beyond what seems apparent on the surface. Think about it, when you are challenged in almost any way, in a relationship, at work, or even just driving down the road, and your feelings get charged up, isn’t there often a component that you could adjust? Try to linger there when feeling emotionally challenged, a lesson may await you that brings you deeper insight into unchartered areas within yourself that will allow you to live a more relaxed, joyful, satisfying life.

Take for example, driving down the road in traffic, your reaction might be anger or frustration but what can you do about the traffic anyway? What could this situation be indicating about you? Maybe you need to allow yourself more time so you don’t feel the stress of worrying about being late. Perhaps you need to slow down a bit and accept things as they come, especially those situations that are out of your control. Can you use this time as some sort of opportunity for yourself…listen to music you love and be glad that you have this time to really enjoy it, practice breathing in a conscious way, send out a desire that all those surrounding you in traffic reach their destination safely and peacefully. This is a chance to change your immediate, internal reality without being a victim of your external circumstances.

Perhaps you have a situation at work, or in a relationship, that keeps coming up. What could that be saying about you? Perhaps you need to confront a situation that you have been avoiding. Or maybe you need to dig a bit deeper and look at something totally unrelated to this immediate situation, which is just a trigger to bring your attention to something else. It is always interesting how we quite often are given opportunities that we ignore, but they keep returning.

As Pema ChÖdrÖn writes, “nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.”  Why not be observant, and willing to get the lesson sooner rather than later so that you can move on to the next beautiful opportunity life will present you…but be ready to sit with it for a bit to see what is being shown, about yourself.

This is in no way a judgmental exercise about ourself, how we are “bad” or must change. Try to see this as an opportunity to tend to a garden, pulling out the weeds so that more attention can be given to the beauty of the flowers and plants. We are all beautiful gardens that often just need a bit of care to come to our full glory. Give yourself this time to sit and be with yourself, you may discover a treasure calling you, that is you.

Now, I am far from suggesting immediate forgiveness in the face of feeling wronged, hurt or abused in some way. An essential part of the process is allowing our feelings to arise and have expression in one way or another. Sometimes  a situation shows up today merely to be a catalyst for unresolved feelings from the past. It is in allowing the feelings to arise from today’s situation that the old buried feelings are then recognized so that they can be released.

Giving ourselves permission, even an invitation, to let these feelings be expressed is also an important element to then come to the moment of forgiveness for ourself and then ultimately the other. Since there really is no “other” in effect we move through this process together, experiencing our interconnectedness and recognizing the important role that all of those who cross our path play in our life. There are no accidents along the way…

Once we understand our lesson and can forgive we may be able to re-embrace the other with a full and open heart developing an even closer relationship, or we may recognize that we must step away, not in anger but with understanding and love for ourself. The end result can vary tremendously in one way, but in another way it is always the same…we gain a sense of peace and can move ahead in our own life with more wisdom and an expanded knowing of who we are, and what greater gift can we ask for than that?