Lately I have had a few situations in my life that I knew required forgiveness on my part, yet I often wondered…how can I really forgive these people? I have realized that only in forgiving can I truly, 100% recognize my own lessons, and hence gift, in each of these situations. It is often said, and my own experience shows this to be true, that situations will repeat themselves until we “get it”… until we realize what part we have played, so that then we can accept the lesson available to us.
Now, I am far from suggesting immediate forgiveness in the face of feeling wronged, hurt or abused in some way. An essential part of the process is allowing our feelings to arise and have expression in one way or another. Sometimes a situation shows up today merely to be a catalyst for unresolved feelings from the past. It is in allowing the feelings to arise from today’s situation that the old buried feelings are then recognized so that they can be released.
Giving ourselves permission, even an invitation, to let these feelings be expressed is also an important element to then come to the moment of forgiveness for ourself and then ultimately the other. Since there really is no “other” in effect we move through this process together, experiencing our interconnectedness and recognizing the important role that all of those who cross our path play in our life. There are no accidents along the way…
Once we understand our lesson and can forgive we may be able to re-embrace the other with a full and open heart developing an even closer relationship, or we may recognize that we must step away, not in anger but with understanding and love for ourself. The end result can vary tremendously in one way, but in another way it is always the same…we gain a sense of peace and can move ahead in our own life with more wisdom and an expanded knowing of who we are, and what greater gift can we ask for than that?